


Milgram and Stanford

by clockwork_spider



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Introspection, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-27
Updated: 2016-01-27
Packaged: 2018-05-16 12:49:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5829565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clockwork_spider/pseuds/clockwork_spider
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes 15 years old Shouichi remembers the future where he ordered people killed. 15 years old Shouichi is disturbed. Spanner shares his thoughts. </p>
            </blockquote>





	Milgram and Stanford

It was another one of those cursed dreams. Ones where he’s an adult, pretending to be a Millefiore commander. Shouichi hated those. It reminded him of times he’d rather forget. And 15 was way too young to be having PTSD.

It must be the pre-exam stress, he figured.

“Byakuran — concert — buying tickets,” Spanner’s voice jolted Shouichi out of his contemplation.

“Huh? Sorry, Spanner, I didn’t catch that.”

“Byakuran asked what time you’d like to attend the concert. He’s buying ticket,” Spanner repeated.

“Oh god. I’m sort of busy this weekend.”

“Okay,” Spanner said, texting back a response to Byakuran. He supposed there was no reason for him to attend the concert either. It was clear that Shouichi was avoiding Byakuran. That was natural. Everyone needed their space. 

There was a pause as they both waited for Byakuran’s reply.

“He sent a sad face,” Spanner reported, closing the phone.

Shouichi rolled his eyes.

“So what’s bothering you?” Spanner asked.

“Okay,” Shouichi had this determined face on. Deep breath. “Okay,” breath again, "Can I talk to you about future stuff?”

Spanner nodded.

"Remember the Longchamp family?”

“Yeah.”

“Remember how I…” breath in, breath out, “I had them killed?”

‘Oh,' thought Spanner.

* * *

 

"They're still alive, Shouichi. We saw Nito last week," Spanner reminded his friend.

"I know," Shouichi said, his fingers doing that tap tap tap thing on the table he did when he was anxious. "I know that," he repeated.

“It was to take Byakuran’s attention off the Vongolas, wasn’t it?" 

“I know, I know it wasn’t me. What scares me isn’t that… the other me ordered people to be killed. What scares me is that he felt _justified_ doing it,” he rambled, feeling the bile rising to his throat and the familiar churning of his stomach, “I mean… I guess I didn’t have any other choice back then. But to know that that I’m _capable_ of ordering other people’s death and rationalizing it as a necessity…” he wrang his hands together, "I don’t know. I guess I just thought I’d be…”

“More sensitive?” Spanner offered helpfully.

“Yeah.”

“Then Byakuran would have killed the Vongolas, and the world would have ended," Spanner concluded, stating the obvious fact. 

Shouichi looked down at his hands. Logically, he knew that was the truth. It doesn’t mean he had to be comfortable with the idea. 

“When I was in middle school, there was this kid named Bradley,” Spanner started, "We were both going for first place at the science fair. He was a competitive kid. I made this dragon coo-coo clock that spits fire. When he knew I was going to win, he smashed my project and pretended it was an accident.”

"Uh..." Shouichi nodded, assuming that Spanner was going somewhere with this.

“I was pretty angry at him, so I planned to set his hair on fire.”

“You’re kidding me, right?”

“No. I’m serious,” Spanner deadpanned, "I even made all the preparation and bought matching shampoo bottles. I was going to switch it out in gym class. But ironically, there was a fire drill that day.

"You know how, sometimes, when faced with unexpected interruption, you loses your motivation? I guess afterwards I just didn't feel like petty revenge anymore. So I didn't end up setting another kid on fire."

"Wow," Shouichi said, he wasn't really sure what to say to that.

"In a parallel world, I probably did it. I would have set him on fire under the right circumstances. Does that make me a bad person?"

"Uh. No, I guess not," Shouichi concluded, realization dawning, "You never actually did it."

"But I would have," Spanner smiled, and was pleased to see Shouichi laughing like he said the funniest thing in the world. It was a laugh of relief.

"Thanks, Spanner," Shouichi said, once he stopped laughing, “You chose not to do it. That’s what made you _you_."

"You're not very nice to yourself, Shouichi. You blame yourself for things that aren't your fault."

"I suppose I do, huh?" Shouichi admitted.

"Don't be mean to my friend, he's an amazing person."

"Oh god, Spanner," Shouichi laughed, more out of awkwardness than anything, "how am I even going to respond to that?"

"I don't think I'm going to make anymore weapons," Spanner shared, after a few more mutual chuckles.

"Yeah?"

"Neither of us have killed anyone in this universe."

"Yeah," Shouichi smiled, "we got a long life ahead of us now. Let's keep it up."

**Author's Note:**

> A quick thing I wrote after talking to @cristak on Tumblr about the possibility of Shouichi killing people TYL whilst he worked at Millefiore. I mean, he was a commander, not just a scientist. He was also a Funeral Wreath, a fake one, but still, Funeral. 


End file.
